I had to work hard and truly want to change my life to wear a grin like this on my face, which is why I am proud to show it. I spent many of my years walking through what felt like an endless winter. Happiness and joy were visitors that would come by occasionally and sit with me, but the heavy hand of grief and sadness would always show them to the door swiftly. And you know, that’s a hard place to be. It’s a hard place to live and operate your life from. Having to grow up really quick from a young age would dampen anyone’s spirit.
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At some point, after you’ve walked around and down the same roads enough times, you come to this dead end, sick of your own shit, and realize no one is coming to save you. There is no damn knight in shining armour coming to rescue you from your dragons, so you need to suit up and save your own ass. And so you do, because you are a human here on earth with a mission and a purpose and potential waiting to be claimed and embodied. You realize that there are no mistakes, and that your life thus far has all been a school training you to be humble, grounded, and empathetic so that you can walk the next half of your life in love and in service.
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When I laugh, I laugh from my heart. It shoots up right from my chest and my throat pushes forth the joy with a cackle that for the longest time I didn’t even recognize as my own. It is the funniest, involuntary reaction from the deepest parts of me. It is my soul laughing because it knows that life is brief, and the vibration of happiness and joy is a palate to reach for when painting the picture of your life. It is my birth rite, and it is yours, too.
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I love my darkness and cherish the difficult obstacles that have shaped me into the woman I am today. I have forgiven myself for who I was while operating in survival mode.
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Every single moment that passes by is a chance to turn things around. Step by step, a commitment, curious and compassionate look at your internal life can drastically change your external world. Nothing to hide. Nothing to fear.
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Soul maintenance. 💪🏽💫 Own your self.